Sunday Meanderings.....

FOOD FOR THOUGHT - A DEVOTIONAL

When We Lose Hope

Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart,
all you who hope in the Lord.

~~ Psalm 31:24 ~~

As every woman knows, hope is a perishable commodity. Despite God's promises, despite Christ's love, and despite our countless blessings, we frail human beings can still lose hope from time to time. When we do, we need the encouragement of Christian friends, the life-changing power of prayer, and the healing truth of God's Holy Word. If we find ourselves falling into the spiritual traps of worry and discouragement, we should seek the healing touch of Jesus and the
encouraging words of fellow Christians. Even though this world can be a place of trials and struggles, God has promised us peace, joy, and eternal life if we give ourselves to Him.

A Woman of Prayer - 365 Daily Devotions, Freeman-Smith LLC, Publishers


A SAD WEEK IN REVIEW

And so...when she got the positive pregnancy test result, Mandy told me that she and Aaron didn't want to say anything until the 14th week, which they considered to be the point that the pregnancy was secure.

You have to understand, they've struggled with infertility for more than two years. They've been through all the things you hear about, and she's been on Clomid and Progesterone, she's been charting her temp before dawn, every single morning of her life for two years, they've spent more money on ovulation predictor kits and pregnancy tests than I spend on groceries, for more than two years.

I said, "You must be positive. You must celebrate this miracle and you must share this wonderful news with all your friends."

I believed that a positive attitude was simply crucial, because I so wanted Mandy to enjoy being pregnant. I wanted her to enjoy every moment of it and not lose the first trimester to fear. They finally agreed with me and we all went public with the announcement Friday night.

I was so wrong.

My daughter was seven weeks pregnant yesterday. And last night she lost her baby.

I honestly don't know what to say. I've never dealt with a loss like this, and I've certainly never dealt with a daughter in this kind of pain. I'm not talking about the physical pain. The emergency room doctors told Mandy and Aaron last night (after an ultrasound) that there simply was no baby any more. The embryo had been absorbed back into her system and simply was no more.

I suppose there's some level of comfort in them telling her that this only happens when there's just something devastatingly wrong with the baby.

I suppose.

So now my poor daughter is waiting for the actual miscarriage to happen. She's armed with prescriptions to handle the pain they told her to expect.

I know that the statistics are high...her own doctor told her one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. I know that.

But I have to tell you, if Mandy and Aaron had just decided, "Let's have a baby," and gotten pregnant, and had a miscarriage, I think I could just say, "I'm so sorry - let's just try again."

But they've struggled so, to even get pregnant.

As a mother, I have to tell you, I've spent a lot of years of my life (about 30 now) thinking I'm smarter than my kids and know best.

Fortunately, both my daughters still think I'm pretty smart, too.

But this is a new one for me. This time, I'm feeling a little inadequate.

I'm just so sad for my daughter, and her husband. I'm sad for all of us...we were so excited. But mostly, I'm just so, so sad for my baby girl, that she finally got pregnant and then lost her baby.

Mandy and I talked again this morning and I was so relieved that she sounded so much better. She and Aaron have so much faith in their acupuncturist that they've decided they're not going to do the fertility drugs any more. No more Clomid. No more hormones. None of that.

So we shall see. But the main thing is, they've both accepted that this baby wasn't meant to be. And they're both convinced that they'll get pregnant again.

I really don't have much else to say tonight. Cameron's hives are much, much better, which tells me it must have been directly related to the antibiotic he was taking because of the strep throat. His last day of school is Tuesday and Rob's work schedule changes Thursday. He'll start working days now. That means, I have no grandchildren during the week at all except for my special Fridays with them, and no husband home during the day (arrgghhh! I have to start cooking dinner every night again!).

But you know what? No matter what life throws at you, you survive.

Life goes on. And on. And with any luck at all, new life begins.

I'm fine, my sweet friends. I'm just so incredibly sad for my daughter.

Thank you for your comments, your prayers and your words on encouragement. Mandy and Aaron read my blog and they read the comments you leave. You have no idea how much it means to them.

And me. xoxoxo