This year...it will not be perfect

I have a morning ritual I rarely sway from. I sit in my living room with my first cup of coffee and read for a little while, usually at least half an hour. Then I bring my second cup of coffee to my office and I read a few of my favorite blogs. I rarely comment because I've learned it's better to wait until I'm really awake before I start typing pithy comments all over Bloggityville.

For the past several mornings, I've seen a recurring theme in more than half the places I visit. Women are stressed half to death, trying to create the perfect Christmas this year, knowing somewhere in the back of their minds, it's probably an impossible goal.

I'm seeing posts where the author seems to have it all together, right down to the last detail. That's nice - I used to be one of those people. But I'm seeing more posts where the author is borderline depressed because she knows it's just not going to happen and of course, she's feeling completely inadequate.

Those are the posts that moved me this morning.

Laura wrote a particularly moving post, and when I read Mer's post, I immediately thought, oh, I know exactly how you feel.

This year, Christmas will not be orchestrated into perfection at Chelseaville. I've decided to redefine "perfect."

For the first time in years, I know I can't do it all. I've had a crazy busy year, since last March, when I opened my little on line shop and my granddaughter Avery was born and I stepped back into full time daycare of a newborn mode. My life simply isn't the same any more and now that my children are reproducing, and I'm earning some income from the things I can make, I suspect my life won't go back to the way it was when I actually thought I was retired, until I'm so old I'm half blind and my arthritic hands can no longer sew.

Normally at this point in December, I'd be so far ahead of the Christmas game, I'd be feeling quite smug. Not this year.

This year "okay" is going to be good enough. My family will be here for Christmas, just as they are every year, and we'll all enjoy the holidays with each other, but I can assure you, some things will be different.

Obviously, because of the economic situation a lot of us are in now, the gift giving is going to be toned way down. And I'm not going to make more Christmas goodies than we could possibly consume, as I always have in the past. For one thing, there's an awful lot of time and planning (and freezer space) involved in that. For another, it's darned expensive, all those ingredients we buy for Christmas baking.

This year we're having a traditional ham dinner with everyone's favorite dishes. My idea of a cold Christmas buffet last year wasn't quite as big a hit as I thought it was. My family waited eleven months to tell me they'd really rather we had a HOT ham dinner. No one wanted to hurt my feelings. LOL

This year, my goals are a lot less than I've ever set before and I think I might be able to do it.

Simple really. I'd like to clean my house a little. I've totally neglected that for months and months now. But it's not going to be shiny clean, just safe clean.

I plan to make a few Christmas treats, family favorites, but not nearly as many as I have in the past.

I'll cook a wonderful Christmas dinner, but not in such huge quantities that we have to eat the leftovers for two weeks, which may not even be safe. :-) Cooking in less quantity means I won't be trapped in the kitchen for three days, leading up to Christmas dinner. I'm keeping it simple.

This is step one. That's my sewing machine sitting on the floor in my closet. And it's staying there until early January. I'm done for this year. No sewing. No craft stuff all over my house. I realized how crafty crazy it really is in my house these days, last weekend when I got all my Christmas decorations out and realized that if I put my pretty Christmas centerpiece on my dining room table, it would be lost in all the craft clutter.

So this is where I'm starting...a sewing for the shop break, big time. Actually, my new shop design is done now. The designer has done her part. But I need some time to learn how to use it and how to upload everything , so maybe I'll spend a little time on that, when I can, during these holidays.

This is the only craft thing I'm doing in the next couple of weeks. I started this Advent calendar for Mandy and Aaron last year and only got halfway through it. I did finish one for Cameron, but I also made two Christmas tree skirts last year, and I never finished this one last thing. This year, I'm finishing this one last thing. It will feel as good as making four dozen sets of Santa stars or sixteen sock monkeys, I'm sure.

So my goals are very simple this year. A little housecleaning. A lot of clutter put away. A little decorating, enough to make it Christmasy around here but still allow room for the never ending baby equipment I use every day now. A nice, but not over the top, Christmas dinner.

And a whole lot of slowing down, realizing my limitations and relaxing.

One thing I know for sure. If I'm a frazzled worn out mess when my family arrives for Christmas, I won't be much fun to be around. My kids don't care how perfect everything looks on the outside. They care that Mom is happy on the inside, and relaxed, and they'll all probably actually be relieved she didn't half kill herself over Christmas...again.

Don't set yourself impossible goals, trying to make it all perfect down to the last detail. No one cares. Seriously, the people you're going to spend Christmas with, the people who love you, don't care if it's perfect.

And if I can do this, I guarantee you, you can. There was a time when no one would ever believe they heard this advice coming from me.

I'm living proof old dogs can learn new tricks. My house is going to be a very inviting place to be this Christmas, full of peace and love, the two most important ingredients of the "perfect" holiday.

It's not going to be perfectly clean with amazing stacks of goodies bursting its seams, but I promise you, it's going to be a nice place to be.

This is the new, improved and much more realistic me. Want to jump on board with me and keep it real this year? You know you do. And you can.