FOOD FOR THOUGHT - A DEVOTIONAL
One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it.
"Lord, You said that once I decided to follow You, You'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed You most, You would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My son. My precious child. I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
THE WEEK IN REVIEW
As I sat down at my desk today, to do this post, I did what I always do first - I grabbed my favorite book of devotionals and removed the bookmark, which was marking the page I took last week's devotional from. And then I asked myself, "What's my mood today - which devotional will I choose that really speaks to me today?"
And then I noticed it - the bookmark. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. Footprints is one of my very favorite writings and it always amazes me that we have no idea who actually wrote it. We're all familiar with it. But I thought it would be nice to share it with you today...as a little reminder to you, and most definitely to me, we never walk alone.
What to say, what to say. The first part of the past week was fine. Very fine, in fact. Then a couple of letters came, and in spite of my determination to not let myself get so caught up in worry I could barely function, I'm afraid I failed miserably.
By Friday I was so worked up I did something I have never ever done. I was snappish and short tempered with my adorable grandson Cameron, all day long. I could feel myself doing it but truly, I couldn't get a handle on it. When he left to go home Friday afternoon, he ran to me, gave me a soft hug and said, "I love you THIS much, Nana."
So factor in some guilt on top of anxiety and I just had myself a meltdown Friday evening. I'm better now, but it's taken me all weekend to feel like I can function again.
Please tell me this has happened to you too, at some point, so I don't feel like such a failure for just feeling like I absolutely couldn't snap out of it.
What upset me so much? I've shared our concerns about this house, the lack of a new lease to sign, after living here four years, the quick phone call from the property management people telling us an appraiser is scheduled to look at the house, another quick call saying a potential buyer is scheduled to visit. The appraiser showed up. The buyer pulled a no show. No phone call. No word. No nothing. Just sitting here for a few weeks wondering what on earth is going on.
Wednesday we got two letters. The first was from the property management people telling us that it had been a pleasure working with us for four years, but the new owner had chosen to go with another management company.
The second letter was from the new property management company welcoming us and letting us know we needed to schedule an appointment immediately to come in and transfer our existing lease over to them.
Existing lease. That lease expires Friday, on Halloween. What lease? We don't need to transfer an existing lease. We need to sign a NEW lease. So we said, fine, we'll schedule a meeting with you for early next week.
Then I made a mistake. I started thinking. For the first time since we've lived in this house, we finally had the name of the owner. The new owner. And now we know why she didn't show up for her scheduled walk through three weeks ago. Her husband built this house. Excuse me, I mean her ex husband. He's the builder who built this whole neighborhood and is currently building many more neighborhoods in Grand Junction. So of course she didn't really need to come see this house before she bought it because for sure, she's already seen several just like it. That explained that.
Meantime, Rob called the new management company back and asked them two things. Are we going to be offered a new lease to sign and is the rent going up? She didn't know. She'd have to email the new owner and get back to us. And of course we waited all day Thursday and Friday and of course she never called back.
So all that started working in my imagination and I just completely lost it Friday evening. Really bad.
I have no idea what's going to happen this week, but at last SOMETHING is going to happen. I let myself get really upset because I just have the most ominous feeling that this woman is going to sharply increase the rent and if we don't like it or can't afford it, too bad. Talk about negative. But I can't help it.
And I think what upsets me most is that we've been left hanging, waiting for promised answers, for weeks and weeks and it's like the people we're dealing with haven't got the slightest idea how stressful that is, for us. For heaven's sake. I don't care how busy you are. How long does it take to make a simple phone call, just to reassure us they're working on it and trying to get answers for us. Who schedules a walk through, knowing it puts you out, only to not show up and not bother to even call and cancel the whole thing?
On a brighter note, I can't eat when I'm stressed, so I did drop that nagging five pounds I needed to let go of. Sigh.
I did manage to finish this project. My little caps for Save The Children - Knit One, Save One are ready to go into the mail tomorrow.
And I know I need to stay busy, so I'm working on these. You can see, I really am working on smaller batches of these now. No more six week long, 144 Santa star marathons for me!
And this crab apple tree is just freaking me out. It looked like this last Sunday.
Today it looks like this. Almost all it's pretty leaves are gone now. But look at those crab apples still hanging on for dear life. They're green. Green. I never heard of green crab apples.
Most of them are on the ground now. Cameron and I have already collected a ton of them, and tossed them, so these are the last little stragglers. But they're green. I bit into one of them. I know crab apples are sour. But oh my word, the green ones? No way are these going to become jelly!
A NEW WEEK
Heaven help me, I have absolutely no idea what this new week holds. I do know I'll be loading Avery and her car seat into the car, something I never do, because she has to go to the management company with us when we meet with them.
And I do know that Cameron will be here on Friday to help Papa carve the Halloween pumpkins, something he's been really really looking forward to.
I know for sure I'm going to make the crab stuffed chicken breast recipe, the one I mentioned last Sunday, today, because I need to use that chicken. I plan to share that with you.
Friday evening Chelsea will be locked in my bedroom. I thought Rob would be here to help with trick or treaters but I was wrong about that - he's working that night - so Chelsea will be banned from the front door and especially the little kids who don't realize ringing the doorbell throws her into complete yappy-little-dog craziness. I'm on my own folks. LOL
And of course, when we finally get the answers about this house, one way or another, I'll let you know what happened. I just have a sinking feeling, that much as I love this house, we're just about to start what's probably going to be our last month here. I do hope I'm wrong about that, but I don't think so. Like most people, I really hate to be wrong. But just this once...I'd be happy to be wrong.
By the way, Cameron has decided to be Superman for Halloween. Of all his choices, that's what he decided and he's very excited about it. Avery's still going to be a goldfish. I agree with a couple of people who commented that if she's going to be a fish, Cameron should be a fisherman. But nope. Superman!
Here's hoping we all have a nice new week. For once in my life, I would truly love to be surprised! I'll let you know how that goes. :-)