For the record, I'm so tired I can barely think, but my word, it's a good kind of tired. This is a three-day Nana-Cameron week. Rare, but it happens when Krissy needs me for three days in one week. Sigh.
He's back. Our praying mantis is back. This one's a baby. You can't believe how hard I tried to get a photo of Cameron inspecting this bug. He actually got close to him at one point but this bug intimidated him. And I'm ashamed to admit, my first thought was, "You're a boy. Go look at that bug and get a relationship going. You're a BOY. Toughen up!"
Then I remembered he's barely two and still in diapers. Diapers with Elmo on them. And then I admitted this beautiful "bug" scares me a little too.
Still, don't you think there's something mystical about a praying mantis? They seem so calm that you forget they can fly. They can. And they let you get right in their faces, acting like they don't even notice you're there, and suddenly they just leap into the air and scare the beejeebs out of you. I'm a big girl and I almost wet my pants.
Cameron thought it was all great entertainment. He kept saying, "Bug, Bug, Bug!" But he stood back. And he had a death grip on my index finger, his touchstone. Nana would never, ever let that finger take him somewhere scary.
I can't tell you how much his trust in me, his Nana, moves me. He trusts me totally, without any doubt at all, that when he's with his Nana, nothing can ever, ever hurt him. Not even a big.scary. BUG.
Oh my word. You have no idea how the love goes on and on and on until your grandchild grabs your finger and says, "Nana!" because there's something new he wants to check out but he's a little frightened. I swear, Cameron will venture into anything unknown as long as he has my finger in his chubby little hand.
I've forgotten a lot of the small day to day details of my daughters' childhoods but I do remember the first time Krissy said, "Mama." I never thought I'd hear a sweeter word but "Nana" is pretty close.
OK, I'm feeling a little sentimental. I'm very, very tired tonight. Sniff.
If there's anything better on a hot HOT summer day in western Colorado than a water hose, it's two water hoses. Yeah. Cameron is smart. He quickly figured out there are two water hoses connected in our back yard.
These are my days right now. Simple. Hot. Full of baby boy. And I'm not complaining. I'm tired, of course, because I'm not young, but I'm thankful that my life is full of my husband Rob, and my children Krissy and Mandy and my sons in love, Andy and Aaron and my grandbaby Cameron and my second grandbaby, due March 1st. Avery or Kyle.
This little boy's smile, well. It makes me glad I'm alive. It makes me glad I was even born. It's everything.